Retour
Les citations de la saison 5 de Dr House
Toutes les phrases cultes prononcés dans les épisodes du Docteur House sont listées ici.
Vous pourrez les lires en deux langues : en version originale (VO) et version française (VF).
Les citations en version française sont tirés des DVDs.
5.01 : Dying Changes Everything Voir la fiche
-
-
Cuddy: When was the last time you talked to him?
House: I think it was after... when did his girlfriend die? He wanted time alone. I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass, but I didn't want to step on your turf.
-
Cuddy: Vous lui avez parlé quand pour la dernière fois ?
House: Je crois que c'était après... Elle est morte quand sa dulcinée ? Il voulait être tout seul. J'ai songé à passer outre et à lui pourrir la vie mais je voulais pas marcher sur vos plate-bandes.
-
Foreman: We just got a call from Patty Mishner from Womens majority, the women's rights...
Cuddy: We know who she is.
House: I dated her. Well, not really dated her, more metaphorically raped her by having a penis. [To Foreman] You did too.
-
Foreman: On vient d'avoir un coup de fil de Patty Mishner de Majorité Féminine, les droits de la femme...
Cuddy: On sait qui c'est.
House: Je me la suis faite. Enfin, pas vraiment, je l'ai plutôt violée métaphoriquement parce que j'ai un pénis. [à Foreman] Vous aussi.
-
Thirteen: Why is everyone leaping to conclude a strong career woman's been made sick by her strong career? It's not B12. It's an insulinoma in her pancreas. It's making her hypoglycemic.
House: Great, now everyone knows.
Taub: You knew she had cancer?
House: Is that what she said? I thought she said, "I am suddenly and irrationally defending the patient's strong career even though, in reality, she's just a glorified grunt, because I'm trying to convince myself that it's ok not to have a life because I don't have a life because I was tested for Huntington's and my lifespan's been cut in half.
-
Thirteen: Pourquoi vous sautez tous sur la conclusion qu'un super-nana est été rendue malade par sa super-carrière ? C'est pas la B12. C'est un insulinome pancréatique qui la met en hypoglycémie.
House: Oh bien joué, maintenant tout le monde le sait !
Taub: Vous saviez que la patiente avait un cancer ?
House: C'est ce qu'elle a dit ? Moi j'avais entendu, "je défends subitement et de manière irrationnelle la super carrière de la patiente même si en réalité ce n'est qu'un souffre-douleur, parce que je cherche à me convaincre qu'on a le droit de tout sacrifier au boulot, parce que c'est ce que je fais, parce que j'ai la Chorée de Huntington et que mon espérance de vie est réduite.
-
House: Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.
-
House: Failli mourir ça ne change rien. Mourir, ça change tout.
-
House: I'm busy.
Thirteen: We need you to…
House: Actually, as you can see, I'm not busy. It's just an euphemism for "get the hell out of here."
-
House: Je suis occupé
Thirteen: Il faut que...
House: En fait, comme vous le voyez, je ne suis pas occupé. C'est une façon polie de vous dire "dégagez".
-
Wilson: I just need a change of scenery.
House: Buy a plant!
-
Wilson: J'ai juste besoin de changer de décor.
House: Bah alors, achète toi une plante verte !
-
Chase: You want me to do a second major surgery on a patient we almost lost during a first major surgery to see if she needs a third major surgery?
-
Chase: Vous voulez que je procède à une deuxième intervention lourde sur une patiente qu'on a failli perdre, au cours d'une première intervention lourde pour voir si elle a besoin d'une troisième intervention lourde ?
-
House: People die! You, Amber, everyone. Don’t act like you just figured that out. I gave you a diagnosis. You don’t like it. There are exits on every floor.
-
House: On est tous condamnés. Vous, Amber, tout le monde. Et ne faites pas comme si vous le découvriez. Je vous ai donné un diagnostic. S'il vous déplaît, il y a des sorties à tous les étages.
-
Thirteen: This is Dr. House. He's too brilliant for introductions.
-
Thriteen: C'est le Docteur House. Il est trop génial pour se présenter.
-
Cuddy: You mind if I come in?
House: Not at all. Do you mind if I leave?
-
Cuddy: Ca vous ennuie si j'entre ?
House: Pas du tout. Ca vous ennuie si je sors ?
-
Taub: What do you want us to do?
Cuddy: The same thing you'd do if he was here.
Taub: If he was here, we’d be asking him what to do.
-
Taub: Qu'est ce qu'on fait ?
Cuddy: La même chose que s'il était là.
Taub: S'il était là, on lui demanderait ce qu'il faut faire.
-
Wilson: I don't blame you for Amber's death. As much as I've tried to find a way to, I couldn't. But we're not okay. I didn't want to tell you the truth. I'm tired of protecting you and enabling you. We're not friends anymore, House. I don't think we ever were.
-
Wilson: Ce n'est pas ta faute. J'ai voulu te mettre sa mort sur le dos mais tu n'y es pour rien. C'est toi le soucis. Je ne te l'ai pas dit parce que j'essayais comme toujours de te protéger. Nous ne sommes plus amis, House. Je ne suis pas sûr qu'on ne l'ait jamais été.
-
Cuddy: Talk to each other.
House: How you doing? Good?
Wilson: Fine, thanks.
Cuddy: Ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh! Sit! See? The two of you are friends. Look how you both...
House: ... think you're an idiot. We both also eat with forks. That doesn't really prove...
Cuddy: Talk to him! Tell him how you feel of what he's doing.
House: I told him he's an idiot.
Cuddy: Tell him what you think about him leaving.
House: I think he's an idiot.
Cuddy: You're an idiot. He's in pain, and your response is just to emotionally blackmail him!
House: You told me what your position is on that one. You're against it, right?
Wilson: She hasn't told you in front of me. She needs to prove she's on my side.
Cuddy: Go to hell!
House: So much for that theory.
-
Cuddy: Adressez-vous l'un à l'autre.
House: Comment ça va bien ?
Wilson: Ça va, merci.
Cuddy: Eh, eh ,eh! Assis ! Vous voyez, vous êtes tous les deux amis, vous vous êtes tous les deux...
House: Vous êtes une idiote. On mange aussi tous les deux avec des fourchettes et ça ne prouve pas...
Cuddy: Parlez-lui ! Dîtes-lui précisément ce que vous inspire sa décision.
House: Je lui ai dit, c'est un idiot.
Cuddy: Mais dîtes lui ce que vous pensez de son projet de partir d'ici.
House: Je pense que c'est un idiot.
Cuddy: C'est vous l'idiot. Il souffre et votre seule réponse c'est de lui faire du chantage affectif.
House: Vous avez déjà exprimé votre opinion là-dessus. Vous êtes contre c'est ça ?
Wilson: Elle ne l'a pas dit devant moi. Elle a besoin de me prouver qu'elle est de mon côté.
Cuddy: Je vous emmerde.
House: Tu es sûr qu'elle est de ton côté ?
-
House: He wanted time alone. I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass, but I didn't want to step on your turf.
-
House: Il voulait être tout seul. J'ai songé à passer outre et à lui pourrir la vie mais je voulais pas marcher sur vos plates-bandes.
-
House: Either she cracked under the whip, or she realized her evolutionary purpose is to arouse men, not castrate them.
-
House: Alors soit ils avaient sorti le fouet, soit elle s'est rendue compte que pour la survie de l'espèce elle doit nous allumer et non nous castrer.
-
House: My patient's still fighting in the feminist trenches, but the war is over. Yesterday's sluts are today's empowered women, today's sluts are celebrities -- if that isn't progress.
-
House: Ma patiente se bat encore dans les tranchées féministe mais la guerre est finie. Les roulures d'hier sont les femmes de pouvoir d'aujourd'hui, les roulures d'aujourd'hui sont les célébrités, si c'est pas le progrès.
-
House: You can't hide from misery.
-
House: Ton chagrin te suivra partout.
-
House: I respect things that earn respect. This decision, on the other hand, is a dog wearing a cape.
-
House: Je respecte ce qui mérite le respect. Cette décision est grotesque. C'est un chien affublé d'une cape.
-
House: Familiar with the concept of sarcasm? Don't sweat it, it's new.
-
House: Pas habitué avec un truc qui s'appelle l'ironie ? Normal, ça vient de sortir.
-
House: She dumped me after I lost those last eighty-five pounds. Said there was less of me to love.
-
House: Elle m'a largué quand j'ai perdu le dernier quintal.
-
House: Your conscience bleeds more freely than my head.
-
House: Ta conscience est beaucoup moins coriace que ma tête.
-
House: I like you better now that you're dying.
-
House: Je vous préfère maintenant que vous êtes condamnée.
-
5.02 : Not Cancer Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Wanna be my friend?
Lucas: No, you scare me a little.
-
House: A moment ago, you thought you were dying. Blind is actually good news.
-
House: Which means we have to remove your whole head. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt.
-
House: What idiot wears argyle socks with construction boots?
-
House: Tell Foreman to get it: old people are scared of black people.
-
House: There's the problem -- he only had half a brain.
-
House: Cancer plays the field. Metastasis is just a fancy word for 'screws around.'
-
House: Okay, it is a long shot but it's possible I'm an ass. Ironically, we need to do a colonoscopy to confirm.
-
House: You're taking pictures of a guy having an affair with his own sister and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust?
-
House: Do you have a different rate plan for being a pain in the ass?
-
House: You're a math teacher. I deduced you used to be a blind math teacher.
-
House: She's not your type. Your type's much stupider than her.
-
5.03 : Adverse Events Voir la fiche
-
-
Cuddy: How did you know that I liked roses?
House: I was in your house last night.
-
House: You don't like her shoes, you like her legs.
-
House: Not talking fever here, is she all curvy and perky?
-
House: Most idiots don't have that much ambition.
-
House: But three unproven, untested drugs, it's like the Mod Squad -- no one can stop them.
-
House: Sex can be dismissed as hormonal or emotional and be genuinely regretted. Money is always a calculated decision.
-
House: World's-sorest-knees-isil. Cuddy used to have that title by the way.
-
House: I know head and heart start with the same three letters, but you've got to read all the way to the end.
-
House: That's a symptom of trying to cram hospital food down a throat he can barely get air down.
-
House: On the other hand, figured she probably wouldn't figure me as the Photoshopping a photo and planting it in an obscure college paper type either.
-
5.04 : Birthmarks Voir la fiche
-
-
House: "Lost track of your speed"? I think that was Hitler's excuse. "Lost track of the Jews."
-
House: My mom didn't call Cuddy, she called you! I knew you couldn't stay away. I knew you loved me too much.
Wilson: I'm doing this for your mom.
House: I'm not doing this at all. Join me on the dark side!
-
Wilson: I guess no one gets to choose who their parents are. I'm not sure anymore we even choose who our friends are. I spoke with Cuddy, she hasn't filled my position yet.
House: If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be okay with that.
Wilson: I'm coming back because you're right. That strange annoying trip we just took was the most fun I've had since Amber died.
House: You hungry?
House: Wilson. My dad's dead.
Wilson: Yeah. My sympathies.
-
House: I'm not deflecting because I'm avoiding something deep. I'm deflecting because I'm avoiding something shallow.
-
House: Those Chinese surgeons make beautiful stitches with those tiny little hands.
-
House: Eulogy, derived from the Greek for 'good word.' Now if she'd asked me to deliver a bastardogy, I'd be happy to.
-
House: Make it fast; I don't want to miss the anal cavity search.
-
House: I'm a doctor; when someone tries to call you three times, it's code for pick up the damn phone before someone dies.
-
House: It was a boring convention. I needed somebody to drink with.
-
House: Forget Louisiana -- the man was driving recklessly through your comatose village. Do they put lead in the jelly donuts here?
-
House: All the neighbors were doing it. Keeping up with the Chenses.
-
House: Let her vomit through the MRI, that's what nurses are for.
-
House: Pins. Some people use them to tailor a shirt, others use them to kill a baby.
-
House: Shockingly, not all religious leaders are honest. But I'm guessing these particular monks are bilking the faithful by sticking a magnet up Buddha's butt.
-
House: Are you kidding? She's lucky. We're all screwed up by our parents, but she's got documentation.
-
5.05 : Lucky Thirteen Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Thirteen, go stick a needle into your girlfriend's pelvis; and, no, that one wasn't a metaphor. Suck out some marrow; that one was.
-
House: You're fired.
Thirteen: What? You just defended me!
House: No, I just prevented you from taking a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already responsible for one doctor with a drug habit.
Thirteen: I don't have a drug habit!
House: The slutty party girl is fun till she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.
-
Lucas: What does that even mean, 'dating a hooker' ?
House: He's an idiot with a messiah complex. Savior to all who need saving. That's why his first wife had a wooden leg, second wife was Canadian. He's the one who needs to be saved.
Lucas: From you or the ho?
House: The ho's just using him for his money. Wait, bad example.
Lucas: Normally in situations, I'd follow the girl, find something embarrassing to show him. But since that's our starting position...
-
Foreman: Do you think I'm boring?
Chase: Yes.
Foreman: You're saying that just to screw with me.
Chase: Yeah! Why would you expect anything else?
Foreman: I expect House to pull my strings, I expect Cameron to make me feel better, I expect the new team to kiss my ass, and I expect you to be honest, 'cause you don't give a crap.
Chase: Yes. You're boring. That speech was boring.
Foreman: Thanks so much.
Chase: You don't let other people's problems affect you. You don't let your own problems affect you, and it's the screw-ups that make us interesting. You're never out of control, which is good... and boring. Never losing control means you're never putting yourself out there, never pushing your limits. On the other hand, you do have a tattoo, so maybe I'm wrong.
-
House: Another life saved by girl-on-girl action.
-
House: You're just mad because the whole time she was doing you, she was thinking about my big...throbbing...diagnostic skills.
-
House: Oh yeah! Penthouse Forum meets medical mystery, maybe there is a god.
-
House: What about me speeding away says to you: 'let's chat?
-
House: Oh my goodness, I played a practical joke on my best friend and he's badly injured, if only I'd learned this valuable lesson earlier.
-
House: Empty, transient sex? I've been waiting for you to spin out of control ever since you got your Huntington's diagnosis, but this is more than I dared hope for.
-
House: Is he in this room? Because if he's not, I don't care what he thinks -- unless he's a she and she was there last night too in which case I care deeply.
-
House: Of course, I'm a very permissive, understanding chaperone. So feel free to ignore me, especially if you feel like kissing or groping or showering or...
-
House: I'm just not sure if he's working for Hirohito or the New England Patriots.
-
House: You're just upset that the whole time she was with you, she was thinking about my huge, throbbing diagnostic skills.
-
House: People interest me. Conversations don't.
-
House: Maybe he was doing something he thinks I'll mock him for. Like... just about anything.
-
House: Eight units in this building; gotta be a pervert like me living in at least one of 'em.
-
House: Haven't sat on this couch in four months. It still remembers my cheeks.
-
House: He's an idiot with a Messiah complex, savior to all who need saving; it's why his first wife had a wooden leg, it's why his second wife was Canadian. He's the one who needs to be saved.
-
House: Does the word 'fired' have a whole other definition that I'm not aware of?
-
House: You had no choice; where do you go after fake hooker girlfriend?
-
House: Oh my god, you invoked your dead girlfriend's name to sell me. You're my hero.
-
House: It was either this or put on 'Brian's Song,' but I didn't have time to stop by Wilson's.
-
House: It's like you and men. Just because you usually don't doesn't mean you can't.
-
House: Another life saved by girl on girl action.
-
House: Best nipples in Princeton.
-
5.06 : Joy Voir la fiche
-
-
Cuddy: It's really not the greatest time for gloating.
House: There's more than one baby in the sea. The world is full of teenaged boys riding bareback.
Cuddy: No, I'm done. I can't go through that again.
House: You're quitting, just like you quit IVF.
Cuddy: Yeah, just like that.
House: There, you just said it again. That's too bad. You would have made a great mother.
Cuddy: You son of a bitch. When I was getting a baby, you told me I would suck as a mother. Now that I've lost it, you tell me I'd be great as a mother. Why do you NEED to negate EVERYTHING!?
House: I don't know.
-
House: What they don't confess to is almost always more interesting.
-
House: I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hand her crack baby off to a doctor.
-
House: They've explained the return policy, right? It's worse than video games.
-
House: It's good news. The great news is she insists there's no way she's gonna change her mind, which means she's actually thought about changing her mind, which means she's not sure she's ready to be a mom, which means she shouldn't be a mom, which means she's gonna change her mind, the only question is when.
-
House: Sleeping Beauty has a jones for Snow White.
-
House: Looks like the kid thing's working out great for you: all of the shopping, none of the stretch marks.
-
House: There's no unconditional love, only unconditional need. Don't make a child a victim of your biological clock.
-
House: Wow, can you remove spleens with your mind, too?
-
House: Judgments are never made in a vacuum.
-
House: Everybody's happy until they unwrap the pretty present and find they got a wall clock in the shape of Africa.
-
House: What we thought was either weirdness or maturity in the kid was just blandness.
-
House: Just because you can't feel pleasure doesn't mean you don't want it.
-
House: Treatment tends to be hit and miss once you're at the sweating blood stage.
-
House: But hey, there's more than one baby in the sea. World's full of teenage boys riding bareback.
-
5.07 : The Itch Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Anyone can hate humanity after being shot. It takes a big man to hate them beforehand.
-
House: There's a reason we evolved the feeling of awkwardness; it tells us not to talk about things.
-
House: Any time you want to stop kissing, I'm there for you.
-
House: What else can I do? I'm gonna ignore her for the rest of my life.
-
House: Yes, the large things in her bra.
-
House: Yeah, I fiendishly hid it within the phrase 'I hit that.'
-
House: Pain changes things.
-
House: And if the Crazy Fairy were here, she could grant them.
-
House: You're nuts. Which makes me nuts for arguing with you.
-
House: Whatever you're scared of out there, aren't you more scared of death?
-
House: That's weird. I usually don't get the stigmata until Easter.
-
House: Please. Get a girlfriend or a life or something. For me.
-
House: He's a lawyer, not an idiot.
-
House: Hey, want to see if your client is actually made of money?
-
House: He likes to reenact the battle of Ypres three times a week, with real gas.
-
5.08 : Emancipation Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Thank God some of those offshore sweat shop jobs are coming back to America; makes up for the telemarketing work we're losing.
-
House: You treated her based on empathetic orphan syndrome -- and almost killed her in the process.
-
House: Silent and unhappy is better than vocal and unhelpful.
-
House: Yesterday you were all BFF, today you think she's pathological.
-
House: Went home without ringing either her metaphorical or literal bell.
-
House: I want you to stop thinking that acting inscrutable makes you anything other than annoying.
-
House: Just because we call something 'poison,' doesn't mean it's bad for you.
-
House: You didn't flinch when you found out a sixteen-year-old who should have her whole life ahead of her doesn't. Means you're here about someone even younger dying even faster.
-
House: Pot calling the kettle a pot?
-
House: Our job is to find what's killing patients, not treat them for chronic idiocy.
-
House: Tell her the thing about emotional reactions is they're definitionally irrational or... 'stupid.'
-
House: Emotional is immediate; if she went to the rational first, then there was no emotional to process.
-
House: You're an idiot. You'd rather die than face your parents because what? You broke their Faberge egg?
-
5.09 : Last Resort Voir la fiche
-
-
Jason: Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy.
House: Well, she's either not here or she's under the desk. Either way, you're going to have to wait outside till I'm finished.
Jason: Do you know when she'll be back?
House: Yes. Which is why I need you to get out and leave me alone.
-
Jason: This is my body. This is my life. There’s a truth out there. I’d rather rot in jail knowing than…I can’t handle not knowing.
House: Yeah.
-
Jason: I’ve never been anywhere south of Florida.
House: You idiot.
Jason: Florida counts?
House: Well not to the supreme court, but it’s warm enough for germs. You’ve been blaming doctors and you can’t even give a halfway decent history.
-
House: I need to slap you. For diagnostic purposes. Seriously. If I were jerking you around I’d say that I needed to kick you in the groin.
-
House: Good idea. Oh, damn, I left my CT machine in my other pants.
-
House: That's a bathroom you're barricading. Might come in handy, especially since you've cleverly decided to take a bunch of sick people hostage.
-
House: You really think reenacting 'Dog Day Afternoon' is the best way to get diagnosed? I'm sure you've been waiting several hours in an uncomfortable chair but... you should watch the movie all the way through.
-
House: Me, I rarely kidnap people unless I've got a serious health problem.
-
House: Right, you just brush your teeth with coffee grounds.
-
House: She might be armed, maybe you should have her deliver it shirtless.
-
House: First rule of triage: guys with guns go first.
-
House: This is a level of risk-taking beyond anonymous girl-on-girl action.
-
House: Wow, I would have laid money you had herpes.
-
House: If your life's no more important than anyone else's, sign your donor card and kill yourself.
-
House: The humiliation? Doctors treating you like a piece of meat? Too many fingers and tubes up your holes? You hate doctors, want to take back control. If so, let me apologize for the fact that you are a piece of meat.
-
House: I'm trying to decide which is riskier; taking crazy risks, or taking advice on crazy risks from a crazed risk-taker.
-
House: If you're saying you might have screwed this up because of your non-relationship with me, I don't know how I can help you.
-
5.10 : Let Them Eat Cake Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Have you seen my balls?
Cuddy: Can you hold on a second?
House: My balls. Have you seen my balls? Giant one and the red one...
Cuddy: Your plan isn't going to work.
House: Of course it is. I try to make you miserable, to make you leave; you deny that it's making you miserable and try to make me miserable, so I'll stop making you miserable, and eventually you will leave, citing reasons that had nothing to do with misery...
Cuddy: You're not bothering me.
House: Step 1: complete.
Cuddy: I'm going to call you from my cell. [Hangs up phone] And then I will come back in here! [To person on cell phone] Hey. Yeah... I just had to explain to him that I had his balls and he's not getting them back. [Walks by House] Excuse me.
-
House: Forget the bypass. Treat her like a fat girl.
Taub: We treat her like a sixty-year-old Asian man, too? She's not fat.
House: Not on the outside. But on the inside, she's still tons of fun.
-
Patient: If surgery could somehow make you taller, would you do it?
Taub: Sure, but I wouldn't call a meeting of the Lollipop Guild and tell them they can grow if they work real hard at it.
-
House: No point, I'm in an elevator. Can't run away.
-
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in when you pass child bearing age.
-
House: Other than throwing off the Feng Shui with her ass that faces all eight sides of the bagua at once?
-
House: Wow. Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
-
House: Can someone please stop back seat differential-ating?
-
House: Everyone in this room knows exactly how this will play out. I try to make you miserable to make you leave. You deny it's making you miserable and try to make me miserable so I'll stop trying to make you miserable. And eventually you will leave, citing reasons that have nothing to do with misery.
-
House: I'm doing my famous impression of Socrates. Think I really nailed the accent.
-
House: Knew your ass was huge, didn't know it was also toxic.
-
House: For evil to succeed, all it takes is for good men to do nothing.
-
House: Is that fun for you? Analyzing everyone else's fun away?
-
House: If her brain's slowly turning into Swiss Cheese, not a whole lot we can do...
-
House: You're not stopping me for medical reasons. You're stopping me because you have the hots for me.
-
House: Why are you dressed like that? Why are you trying so hard to get my attention?
-
House: Sick people, who are sick enough to make it to me, don't spontaneously get better. Not as pithy, but yes technically more accurate.
-
House: I'd give you an IV of the stuff, but the frosting tends to get stuck in the little tube.
-
House: Most people don't have the guts to admit they'd rather be pretty than healthy. Income's better and you get more action.
-
House: He should check his pants -- I think we might have an anal hygiene violation.
-
5.11 : Joy to the world Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Have you checked the prices for fireman strippers recently ?
-
House: If I wanted gifts, I'd just look deeply into my patients' eyes and act like you. 'I'm so sorry you're dying, Mrs. Moron. Of course I'll sleep with you. What I lack in skill, I make up for in...'
-
House: I'm physically incapable of being polite.
-
House: You're right. I'm a jerk.
-
House: You know that from an anal swab ? Man, you're good.
-
House: If you can't be nice, why bother being a doctor ?
-
House: You got any patients who aren't idiots ?
-
House: Either you're telling the truth or you're playing chicken. Or you're really, really dumb. Either way's pretty interesting.
-
5.12 : Painless Voir la fiche
-
-
Cuddy: House, I've got a DCFS home visit on Friday.
House: And I've got a W-H-O-R-E visit on...
-
House: This is the favor ? I was expecting something involving whipped cream and tongue depressors.
-
House: Gotta let the phone ring more than four times when you're calling a cripple.
-
House: No rush. Already bathed once this week, wouldn't want to look elitist.
-
House: Yeah, because I'm clearly a guy who likes to knock out a few naked pull ups before I greet the day.
-
House: Scent of a man. I realize you've never experienced it sober.
-
House: You want a man to put his finger there, gonna have to marry him first.
-
House: Foreteen's right.
-
Taub: Assuming you're right.
House: Yes, I find it confusing to assume otherwise.
-
5.13 : Big Baby Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Must be somebody's job to keep me from being reckless and irresponsible.
-
House: I need oral sex. It makes medical sense.
-
House: Who has to go pee in the middle of a nuclear procedure ?
-
House: People don't die from peeing.
-
House: Please tell her that talking will ruin the test.
-
House: Has she invited any of her lesbian friends into bed with you ?
-
House: I'm skipping steps because our patient is skipping steps on her way to being dead.
-
House: My old boss. And by 'old' I don't mean 'former.'
-
5.14 : The Greater Good Voir la fiche
-
-
House: So you did it because you love her. But ironically, you never took her into consideration. I can't wait to see what you get her for your anniversary.
-
House: I thought I'd never see you again, little little Greg. You heard me right.
-
House: Yes ladies, I am blaming her period. Granted, it's the worst period ever. But frankly, not by all that much.
-
House: You really had no choice. On account of being an idiot.
-
5.15 : Unfaithful Voir la fiche
-
-
House: You are a wuss - part wimp, part puss.
-
House: So the good news is he didn't have a heart attack. Bad new is, I apparently fired the only guy who actually knew what a heart attack looks like.
-
House: I want to walk out and find myself in a forest of whore trees. But I don't think it's a good idea to tell people to go fornicate with fruit.
-
House: Hey, I was just talking about you. Well, not about you specifically, about whores and hypocrisy.
-
House: So the fact that it makes no sense makes sense ?
-
House: I'm incapable of acting like a human being.
-
House: Religion is not the opiate of the masses, religion is the placebo of the masses.
-
House: The fact that I was wrong is NOT a proof of God.
-
5.16 : The Softer Side Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Our new patient. Part girl, part boy, ALL Thirteen's dream date.
-
House: Way to multi-task. Impress the boss and humiliate the ex.
-
House: Who needs med school when you have WiFi ?
-
House: Completely unfazed? You think I'm totally lacking in any fazing? The idea that I'm anything less than half-fazed I actually find offensive and greatly fazes me.
-
House: I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR ?
-
House: I'm fine other than the fact that my nurple is now purple.
-
House: Back off. Only Thirteen gets to grab my nipples this time.
-
House: Surprisingly, hookers are cheaper. And don't sue for sexual harassment.
-
House: You gave birth to a freak of nature, doesn't mean it's a good idea to treat him like one.
-
5.17 : The Social Contract Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Relax, your nose isn't big, it's just conspicuous.
-
House: I'm fully capable of lying to you. I've lied plenty of times.
-
House: My standards of fun are not the norm.
-
House: You developed your own people-pleasing skills the way an Olympic athlete develops his muscles.
-
House: My patient had brain damage. I don't have that excuse.
-
5.18 : Here Kitty Voir la fiche
-
-
House: The Democrats and their socialized medicine. I'm only allowed to waste useless tests on sick people.
-
House: From now on, I'll use two markers. Only the green one will indicate irony.
-
House: Have you tried to pee on yourself in public? Not easy.
-
House: What are you worried about? You just get sued for the cost of treatment, maybe spend a night in jail for larceny. I have to tell one of my employees he was right.
-
House: Cats make terrible doctors. Oh wait, I'm thinking of women. You're screwed.
-
House: If you're here to kill me and rape me, please do it in that order.
-
House: But nutjobs get sick, too. Or Michael Jackson would still be a living human being.
-
House: When you don't die tonight, you'll have finally done something good for the world as opposed to your life as a...fireman.
-
House: Love to hear more of your theory, but I don't give a crap.
-
House: You mean the theory about Cuddy's ass getting bigger at the full moon? I confirmed that one. Photos on my blog.
-
5.19 : Locked In Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Hey Genius, I think it violates certain ethical laws to rip the organs out of a guy who's still alive. Certain law laws too.
-
House: Can't bring Mohammed to Princeton, bring Princeton to Mohammed. Meet my diagnostics posse - hot, dark and darker.
-
House: His doctor's busy teaching him how to blink out 'kill me' in Morse code.
-
House: How dare you use my logic against me ?
-
House: Amazing. A man with only two words at his disposal can still lie.
-
House: Fact that he stole your idea means he cares. That's all I needed to know.
-
5.20 : Simple Explanation Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Why's our rainbow coalition missing brown and bi ?
-
House: Quand est-il de notre coalition arc-en-ciel ? Il nous manque le bistre et la bi.
-
Cuddy: You broke into my files.
House: I had no choice, personnel files are confidential.
-
House: I prefer the less subtle answer, 'You were right, House'
-
House: Je préfère une réponse moins convenue genre: "Vous aviez raison, House"
-
5.21 : Saviors Voir la fiche
-
-
House: It would if Cameron hadn't already CTed his head already. Empty as her boyfriend's calendar.
-
House: Aurait pu si Cameron n'avait pas déjà scanné son crâne. Aussi vide que l'agenda de son petit ami.
-
House: His history said the environmental kamikaze was single.
-
House: Le dossier de notre kamikaze de l'environnement dit qu'il est célibataire.
-
House: Mortality is mortality.
-
House: La mortalité c'est la mortalité.
-
House: I'm losing my mind and all you've got to say is, 'Good ?'
-
House: Je perds carrément la boule et toi tu dis, "c'est bon" ?
-
House: He loves a tree in Oregon more than he loves you. But he can't have sex with it.
-
House: N'importe quel arbre de l'Oregon, il l'aime plus que vous. Mais il peut pas coucher avec.
-
5.22 : House Divided Voir la fiche
-
-
House: I need a scrip for sleeping pills. Neighbor's dog has been keeping me awake, and is strangely invulnerable to poison.
-
House: J'ai besoin qu'on me prescrive des somnifères. J'arrive pas à fermer l'œil à cause du chien du voisin et pas de bol, il est super résistant au poison.
-
House: Wedding's in two weeks? I'd say you were pregnant, buy Chase's body isn't mature enough to produce sperm.
-
House: Le marriage est dans deux semaines alors j'ai cru que vous étiez enceinte et puis rappeller que Chase n'est pas assez mature pour produire du sperme.
-
House: I'll blind him too, if he wants to experience that culture.
-
House: Je peux aussi le rendre aveugle s'il veut expérimenter une nouvelle culture.
-
House: My patient is opting into a handicap. He's an insult to every other gimp out there.
-
House: Mon patient se complaît dans son handicap, il est une insulte à tous les infirmes, voilà tout !
-
House: I value your opinion. I value rejecting your opinion.
-
House: Je respecte votre opinion. Je respecte qu'on rejette votre opinion.
-
5.23 : Under My Skin Voir la fiche
-
-
House: The irrational part of my brain thinks like the rational part of yours.
-
House: La partie irrationnelle de mon cerveau fonctionne comme la partie rationnelle du tien.
-
House: Worse ? Double death ?
-
House: Pire encore ? Double mort ?
-
House: I've been popping pills for years; I've only been seeing things for days. Something changed.
-
House: Je me bourre de comprimé depuis des années. Ça ne fait que quelques jours que j'hallucine. Quelque chose a changé.
-
House: You know what would calm the nausea ? Vicodin. Marijuana. A coma.
-
House: Vous savez ce qui calmerait mes nausées ? De la Vicodin. De la Marijuana. Un coma.
-
House: Too bitter. I have plenty of bitter already.
-
House: Trop amer. L'amertume ça va comme ça.
-
5.24 : Both Sides Now Voir la fiche
-
-
House: Isn't that locking the barn door after the horse has put his face between your breasts for an hour and a half ?
-
House: On dirait que vous avez fermé la porte de la grange après que le cheval ait posé son museau entre vos seins pendant une heure et demie.
-
House: Her lips say no, but her hormones say 'Oh my God, yes, more.'
-
House: Ses lèvres disaient non et ses hormones disent : "Oh mon Dieu, oh oui j'en veux encore".
-
House: Because in Houseland, and the rest of the universe by the way, when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer.
-
House: Parce qu'au pays de House et comme dans le reste de l'univers, quand une question se présente, elle appelle une réponse.
-